I know you're thinking I'm crazy and want to say "shut up, young one, stop complaining about 24. That's not OLD!" And really it's not. But, for some reason 24 just feels like a whole new phase of life that feels OLD. I was talking to one of my best friends Laura about it on my birthday and she was so right in the way she put it. At 23, you could still be a fifth year senior in college, but at 24 you are PAST the college days, PAST your youth and getting good and settled into the start of your ADULT years...from here on out. YIKES!! Thanks for bringing THAT to my attention, Gowder! (She's one of my few readers, so I enjoy calling her out by name) ;). I think I'm going to have to pull a Joyce (referring to my grandmother's trick) and start repeating ages on my birthday. She's been 39 for yeeeeaaars. My mom is older than she is...how does that work? So maybe I'll just turn 24 again on my birthday next year!
Seriously though, according to the life plan that I created when I was about 14...and still abide by...(that I may not have shared with Ryan, and God just might have laughed at), I wanted to get married young (at 22, check) and have kids young, but not without having several years to spend with my husband first, traveling and doing all kinds of adventures that you can't do once kids come along...and of course get a house first, with a white picket fence, a yard and a dog (that was my senior class prediction in high school...it also included marrying Ryan, ha!). My theory here was that if I had kids young, then I would have tons of energy for them at every age and then when they were all grown and "out of the house", hubby and I would still be young enough and have lots of energy left over for traveling, being adventurous, and also have enough energy for grandkids. (I think of my mom's best friend who had kids young and at my mom's same age, has 3 grandkids with another on the way and has them all up to the lake house every weekend of the summer and takes one of them out to Jackson Hole, WY every winter and goes on mission trips to Nicaragua and trips to Europe and jetlag barely even phases them - oh, can I just get a little bit of that energy now. I'm already tired, just from going to work today). So back to my "plan"...24 was always my "ideal" age to start having kids in order to be finished having kids by 30. Buuuut, now that I'm 24, I'm not ready for that yet. We haven't been on a big trip yet (like Italy)...and we don't have a house yet...or even a dog...etc, etc, etc....
And I hear a quiet voice say "Erin, STOP PLANNING! ...and trust ME because MY plan is perfect". So I stop. And I realize that each day in life is numbered and I only have a certain number of days to live and instead of trying to live by my "plan", I need to enjoy each day and realize that each one has a purpose and that purpose is to ENJOY God and glorify Him forever, and I'm not glorifying Him very much when I'm just trying to rush through life checking things off my life plan's to-do list.
And a big thank you to everyone who made my birthday so great. It started with my sweet hubs getting up early and making a big breakfast, complete with biscuits, fried eggs, and grits, before I even woke up. Then when I got to work, my sweet friend Samantha who is the event planner for all the Duke Athletic events (and is amazing at what she does I might add...) put together a pretty bouquet of flowers for my desk. The third floor took me to lunch for sushi. Then later, Ryan took me to a favorite Durham restaurant (City Beverage) for dinner where a whole group of our friends and Matt and Banks surprised me. The next day Ryan, Matt and I made my annual birthday shrimp dinner and it was delicious. Oh and I can't forget the birthday cake my sweet friend Melissa from small group made me, ALL the birthday cards and the awesome gifts I received. Ryan got me a suh-weeeeet new GPS (no more getting lost in this confusing town...and that does happen alot even for this "good-sense-of-direction" girl) and the new purse my parents got me to replace my old worn ragged one and can't forget the Coach scarf from my brothers that my mom and sister definitely picked out without a doubt! (ha, when I called TJ to thank him he said, "what scarf?"). And I believe that was a run-on sentence. Unfortunately, the ONLY pictures I took the entire weekend were of Samantha giving me flowers. None from the lunch outing with the office, none from dinner with everyone, none even of Ryan and Matt making my birthday dinner. At least I got these though because the flowers were beautiful - and Gerber Daisies are my favorite, how'd she know?!
Love,
4 comments:
24 is a good, young age... I'm turning 25 this year! It's hard to let go of your own expectations for your life, but having known you for years, I know God's plan for you is a good one. I'm with you on the "not ready for kids" thing, but I think y'all should definitely get a dog!
Love you,
Julie Boley
You know, I just had my first real experience like this too. I am about to turn 26 and I am not quite ready. I struggle because I am so incredibly ready to have kids, yet the Lord has a different plan for us. So (me as the older one) is not mad at you ;) I totally and completely understand! Thanks for sharing!
Jewels, I'm all about a dog if we had a place for one! Like I told you, now that Ryan's been around Bo, he's fallen in love with German Shepherds, so we definitely need some space before we can get one of those! :) On another note, despite your "not ready for kids yet" comment, I did dream just two nights ago that we were somewhere with you and Rob and y'all had a baby, haha!
happy birthday! I love this post and the reminder that God's plan is perfect . . . ps just wait til you turn 25 or 26 - almost 30! I'm ancient! :-)
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